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Midnight Star
Some of the stories in the song were real tabloid stories and others Al made up. Midnight Star is not a real tabloid. There was an Al fan newsletter named Midnight Star.
I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less,
At the checkout counter at the local grocery store.
I was only passin' by,
But a paper caught my eye,
And I learned a few things I never knew before.

It said, "Your pet may be an extraterrestrial."
It said, "The ghost of Elvis is living in my den.
You can learn to cope with stress,
And you can beat the IRS,
And the incredible frog boy is on the loose again!"

Oh, Midnight Star!
It's in the weekly Midnight Star.
Aliens from outer space are sleeping in my car.
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know.

Eat jelly doughnuts and lose twenty pounds a day.
Hear the story of the man born without a head.
And top psychics all agree
That the telephone company
Will have a brand new service that lets you talk to the dead.

Oh, Midnight Star!
You can believe it if you read it in the weekly Midnight Star.
They're keeping Hitler's brain alive inside a jar.
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know.

(Tell me, tell me, tell me how to make my bust line grow.)
Midnight Star, I wanna know...

Oh, Midnight Star!
Well, don'tcha know that I read it, I read it in the weekly Midnight Star.
The UFO's have landed and we'll tell you where they are.
Midnight Star, I wanna know, I wanna know,
Midnight Star.

Well, you can read all about it in the weekly Midnight Star.
You can use your ESP to learn to play guitar.
I wanna know, I wanna know.
I wanna know, I wanna know.
I wanna know, I wanna know.
I wanna know, I wanna know.
Inquiring minds like mine wanna know...
I wanna know, I wanna know.
I wanna know, I wanna know.
I wanna know, I wanna know.
I wanna know, I wanna know.

 

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