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Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters From a Planet Near Mars
They showed up on my doorstep
Just a couple weeks ago.
They looked so sweet and harmless.
Tell me, how was I to know?
They got a little too close to the microwave,
And then much to my surprise,
They grew to forty thousand times their original size.
They started mutatin' right before my eyes, oh my.

Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.
A race from a distant place, they came in UFO's shaped just like Cuban cigars.
Man, oh man, you oughta hear 'em squeal.
Now the whole wide world is their exercise wheel.
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.

The president, he's in a panic.
The Pentagon, they're in shock.
There's a team of research scientists.
They got 'em workin' 'round the clock.
Now the National Guard is out in my backyard,
And the Marines will be comin' around.
I hope they get these lousy rodents out of my town,
'Cause the property values are goin' way down, now.

Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.
They're back and they're lookin' for a snack,
and they're not that fond of Burger Kings or salad bars.
I hope they're not plannin' to stay.
Who invited them here anyway?
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.

Well well, look at that hamster, he's as big as a blimp,
And there's one the size of Central Park.
They're usin' telephone poles to pick their teeth.
They're evil and nasty, and they glow in the dark.
Well don't waste any more of your bullets, boys.
You know it just makes 'em mad when you shoot.
They're gonna stomp us into jelly, and conquer the world.
But you gotta admit, they're really kinda cute now.

Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.
What a racket they're makin', Jack,
they keep me up at night playin' their electric guitars.
Listen to 'em squeal.
They think the whole stinkin' world is their exercise wheel.
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a planet near Mars.
Hey, Jack, you better watch your back,
here come those Hamsters from a planet near Mars.

Well, well, it's called the
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters
From a planet,
A planet near Mars.

 

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